You know your life has been taken over by children when...
I know lists are unoriginal and lame, but I can't help keeping a tab in my head of the ways in which I have become different from people who aren't parents of young children. Sometimes I feel really weird, so it helps to pretend that these are things other people can relate to. I hope.
You know your life has been taken over by children when...
When dining with friends you shovel food in your mouth as fast as possible, and then sit back and wonder how everyone else can be so calm about taking their time to eat.
You and several friendly acquaintances know each other only as So-and-So's Mom. For years.
You know who the hot celebs are because they were on 'word of the day' with Elmo.
The anticipation of waiting for Bob the Builder to confess his love for Wendy has become unbearable.
Making chicken fingers from scratch makes you feel like a foodie.
You've made a shortcut for PB&J crusts on your food diary app.
You're driving alone and get halfway to your destination before realizing you can listen to something other than the Wiggles.
Every other word that goes through your head is 'fuck', but you frown when anyone says 'stupid.'
You've made up songs about diaper changes.
You hear a sniffle and automatically offer your sleeve as a tissue. To another adult.
You know your life has been taken over by children when...
When dining with friends you shovel food in your mouth as fast as possible, and then sit back and wonder how everyone else can be so calm about taking their time to eat.
You and several friendly acquaintances know each other only as So-and-So's Mom. For years.
You know who the hot celebs are because they were on 'word of the day' with Elmo.
The anticipation of waiting for Bob the Builder to confess his love for Wendy has become unbearable.
Making chicken fingers from scratch makes you feel like a foodie.
You've made a shortcut for PB&J crusts on your food diary app.
You're driving alone and get halfway to your destination before realizing you can listen to something other than the Wiggles.
Every other word that goes through your head is 'fuck', but you frown when anyone says 'stupid.'
You've made up songs about diaper changes.
You hear a sniffle and automatically offer your sleeve as a tissue. To another adult.
1 comments :
I've made up songs about diaper rash ("Use Balmex" sung to the tune of "On Broadway"), getting out of the bathtub ("Stand Up, Stand Up for Mommy" sung to the tune of "Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus") and laundry (original composition)
Post a Comment